Label Queen The Hallmark Episodes

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Label Queen. The holiday editions. Like I explained last time, these are six episodes roasting and toasting all of the best and the worst of Hallmark holiday movies. And as ever, is my faithful co host, writer, comedian, producer Lauren Kinchelo. Lauren, welcome. [00:00:35] Speaker B: Thank you so much, James. Happy to be here. [00:00:37] Speaker A: So today we are talking about the 2022. They're billing it as a romantic comedy called the Holiday Sitter. So let's just go through this. The movie is notable for being hallmarked first holiday romance with the leading LGBTQ plus couple. So I didn't realize that that was the first time it was like, really like, we're gonna put it in your face. Groundbreaking, groundbreaking. Candace. Cameron Bure is gone. We are doing this. All right, here's the plot summary. Sam Dalton, a workaholic bachelor, plans a relaxing holiday trip to Hawaii. His plans are put on hold when his sister Kathleen and her husband have an emergency and need to watch. They need him to watch their two children out of his element. I don't. I'm not sure what his element is because he can't really seem to do anything. [00:01:33] Speaker B: Also, he's going to Hawaii, not like Puerto Vallarta or Berlin. So what is his life already? [00:01:39] Speaker A: All right, so out of his element and in over his head, Sam enlists the help of his handsome, that's questionable, outgoing next door neighbor, Jason DeVito. We hear a lot about the Devitos while navigating the challenges of babysitting. Sam and Jason grow closer and find themselves in an unexpected holiday romance. Which means after New Year's, it's over. Well, I don't know. [00:02:10] Speaker B: I mean, if these were like real gay people, Hallmark representations of gay people. [00:02:14] Speaker A: A lot to say about that. First of all, what did you think overall of the holiday Sitter? [00:02:21] Speaker B: I found it a little bit disappointing, I have to say, after, you know, the magic of Zalarnia being my first foray into the genre. Was hoping for a little more absurdity, I think, and found it to be pretty vanilla. Oh, well, I mean, there's a lot of vanilla. [00:02:39] Speaker A: There's a lot of vanilla. There is a lot of absurdity, but it's just so vanilla, it's boring. All right, let's go. Let's open it up. The holiday sitter starts with the ubiquitous New York City skyline, as most of these do, which means we're getting out of there. We're getting out. It's bad, it's evil, it's horrible, and bad people live there. We open on Jason. Sorry, Sam, played by Jonathan Bennett sitting there at a rest chic restaurant waiting for a date. Now right away I'm like, queen, you know what I mean? He's waiting for a man. [00:03:15] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. [00:03:16] Speaker A: Okay, so he's uncomfortable. He's like, let's get to the next date. Like, don't run, you know, commitment issues right off the bat. [00:03:23] Speaker B: Yeah. He's like, find, find a reason to run. Sort of his mantra. [00:03:27] Speaker A: Yeah, find a reason to run. And in walks Dr. Blah, blah, blah. I'm going to call him Dr. Boring because he was so boring. And right away Sam can't wait to leave. He's just bored to tears. And then all of a sudden it comes out that Dr. Boring wants a. You know, that's like what you start talking about on your first day. [00:03:48] Speaker B: And then Sam immediately, check, please, check please. [00:03:51] Speaker A: I'm out. I'm not into kids, I'm going to Hawaii. He tells Dr. Boreing. Dr. Boreing is like, what for Christmas? How could you? What about family? Now, first of all, I'm in a relationship. You're in a relationship. To go to Hawaii by myself on Christmas seems like a dream. [00:04:15] Speaker B: I love it. [00:04:15] Speaker A: Like, thank you. [00:04:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:17] Speaker A: I have no problem with Sam Covid. [00:04:19] Speaker B: Christmas was awesome. [00:04:21] Speaker A: Thank you. So I have no problem with him getting on a plane, ditching the family, going to Hawaii by himself. Good luck, have fun, you deserve it. So anyway, he decides that he, you know, this guy wants a baby. He's out of there and all of a sudden he goes back to his apartment, which is, which looks like an. [00:04:42] Speaker B: Is it his office? I thought it was his office. [00:04:44] Speaker A: It looked a bit like a. Insane. I can't explain it. It was very industrial. [00:04:51] Speaker B: Yes. [00:04:51] Speaker A: It was also huge. [00:04:53] Speaker B: Right. And then he's packing his Hawaiian shirt after Hawaiian shirt in the like main area. [00:04:59] Speaker A: Yeah. I think it was a lobby or something. [00:05:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:02] Speaker A: And he did have a popcorn maker. [00:05:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Which is giving very straight bachelor. [00:05:08] Speaker A: No thank you. Like an old timey bachelor. Like it was all. All wrong. And then his friend arrives and she's like, I'm getting married. And he's like, I love that for you. And she reveals it's to a woman. So we've got the L going. We've got the G going. So it's all good. I forget her name, but he references her a lot during the movie. But she sort of disappears and she. [00:05:34] Speaker B: Says, you of anyone would have two champagne flutes on hand to sell, celebrate. He's got a rack of like 12 that she has walked by anytime she's been to his house. [00:05:42] Speaker A: I Don't get that line. And why is champagne so like, ooh. [00:05:45] Speaker B: I was trying to read the label on that champagne kava at best. [00:05:49] Speaker A: Good one. All right. So he toasts her. He's actually very happy with her. And then all of a sudden, we cut to upstate or somewhere, you know, made up. Made up some suburban town which he can't deal with. And we see these frantic baby parents who are getting ready for the adoption of a baby. They get the news that birth mothers. [00:06:14] Speaker B: Going into labor sooner than expected. [00:06:17] Speaker A: Yep. They gotta leave town. And Sam, they're like, who are we gonna get to, you know, babysit these kids that we have? They have two kids, Donya. And I forget the other kid's name. [00:06:30] Speaker B: And. [00:06:30] Speaker A: And they're out. They're like, sorry, kids. [00:06:33] Speaker B: Well, the older one is 13. [00:06:35] Speaker A: Right. [00:06:35] Speaker B: But he's not ready. [00:06:37] Speaker A: He's not ready. [00:06:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:38] Speaker A: And then Jason, who is the next door neighbor, the handsome next door neighbor who's also their contractor and just sort of. [00:06:45] Speaker B: And engaged with the kids already. Yes. [00:06:47] Speaker A: He loves these kids. And he's. They're like, well, we could ask him, but it's too much. Cause he's already. [00:06:53] Speaker B: That's so much of it. [00:06:53] Speaker A: Yes. Like, they can't find anybody, so they come up with the brother, Sam, and the husband's like, you remember what happened last time? And we cut to Sam with a mustache because it's a flashback. And he's burning the house down because he just can't do anything. [00:07:12] Speaker B: Yeah, he's like the Scrooge character. And this burnt omelette is the ghost of Christmas past. [00:07:17] Speaker A: And we hear about it through this whole. Oh, you're the one that nearly burnt down the kitchen. Oh, you don't. You know. And he's like, does everybody know? Yes. Anyways, turns out. So the sister sort of cajoles him and guilt him into. [00:07:31] Speaker B: She's gonna reveal that he was making out with a boy back in the day. She's pulling the, like the Klaus card or the. [00:07:38] Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes. And he's like, I can't believe you're doing that. [00:07:41] Speaker B: He's out to his parents now still, somehow. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Yeah, so that was a big thing. Anyway, so he decides to go, um, and he's. Listen, I'm gonna do it for two. [00:07:52] Speaker B: Days, three days max. I'm going to Hawaii before Christmas. Like, I'm out. [00:07:57] Speaker A: By the way, his best friend was Ellie. That was her name. All right? So he's just like, really? Like, I can't deal with the suburbs. He pulls up in a new York City. [00:08:07] Speaker B: A yellow cab. 2022. No, not an Uber SUV. He's on the phone to Stavros about yachts. And he's in a yellow cab. [00:08:15] Speaker A: Yes. [00:08:16] Speaker B: Yeah, special. [00:08:17] Speaker A: So he gets out of the the taxi and of course he can't decide or know which house it is, cuz they all look the same. [00:08:26] Speaker B: They do. I mean, I could go to the wrong house in suburbia, but those houses looked very different. It's true. [00:08:31] Speaker A: They really look different. And also they have numbers on them. It's called an address. [00:08:34] Speaker B: Yeah, you put it into the taxi. [00:08:36] Speaker A: All right, so he doesn't know where he's going, blah, blah, blah. [00:08:42] Speaker B: And Jason is at. Has been looking after the kids until he gets there. So Jason is in fact at his sister's home where he's supposed to be. [00:08:49] Speaker A: Right? So taxi pulls up, Jason looks out the window, sees this new piece of meat in town and is like, whoa, I know something bad's going to go up. So Sam gets out, goes to Jason's house by accident, and that's when Jason's like, oh, I got to save this. Sam knocks on the door. Jason's dog barks and scares him. Him to fall backwards. Backwards. To fall off the stoop into the arms of Jason. [00:09:19] Speaker B: Meet cute from behind. [00:09:20] Speaker A: Ooh, child. It is a hallmark gay meet cute. And I have to say, in all of the meet cutes that we have to endure, I wasn't mad at this one. Although I was like, girl, like everything about this guy is unattractive. You know, like being afraid of a dog to the point where you. [00:09:39] Speaker B: You're falling downstairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Anyway, all right, so they of course have that moment. They sort of like there's a connection and they eye fuck and then it's kind of like forgotten. Okay. [00:09:51] Speaker B: Got the eye to lips maneuver. [00:09:53] Speaker A: Yes. [00:09:53] Speaker B: The gaze to mouth. Yes. Oh, that's a hallmark of Hallmark, is it not? [00:09:58] Speaker A: Yes, I like that. All right, so three days till Christmas. Sam gets awoken by this demon child, Danya. And Danya is like really already pissed that her parents are leaving and that this new sister is coming or the. [00:10:16] Speaker B: New baby and that they might miss. [00:10:17] Speaker A: Christmas and they might miss Christmas. And like, you better get home. Do you promise? You promise? You promise? And she's like, well, you know, we're coming home with your new baby. And Danya sort of like goes dark. She goes real dark. [00:10:29] Speaker B: Real dark. You're so correct. She's on her way to playing some possessed creature in a horror movie. [00:10:34] Speaker A: Yeah, she's got a horror movie. [00:10:35] Speaker B: And I'm here for it. [00:10:36] Speaker A: Yes. Anyway, so Danya, like, is straddling Sam. Wake up. [00:10:41] Speaker B: The alarm has gone off an hour later than it's supposed to. [00:10:43] Speaker A: Oh, right. [00:10:44] Speaker B: He's got this itinerary that's all laid out with his sister. [00:10:46] Speaker A: Exactly. And he's already missed the itinerary. This bitch Danya is hungry. She is hungry. She wants pancakes. And she's a vegan, so I'm sure vegan pancakes exist. That's gotta be a thing, right? I mean, but I felt like you had milk or eggs in them, but I don't know. Anyway, all right, so she gets awoken by. He gets woken by Danya. He goes downstairs. He's. Where's. Where's the coffee? Of course coffee is bad. No, no coffee. [00:11:15] Speaker B: That's a New York City thing. [00:11:17] Speaker A: That is such a city. City problem. [00:11:20] Speaker B: But he's not to cook. So he has menus. [00:11:22] Speaker A: Correct. [00:11:23] Speaker B: He's not allowed to cook because of the great omelet incidents. [00:11:26] Speaker A: Exactly. All right, so he's looking for coffee. The kid is like, no, mom drinks kombucha and dad drinks tea or whatever, blah, blah, blah. She's a vegan. He tries to call out and there's. What's something. There's something wrong. [00:11:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, that. The number isn't answering. [00:11:44] Speaker A: So there's apparently no other restaurant in this place, wherever they are. And he doesn't know what to do, so he calls or texts Jason because Jason had airdropped his contact, which I. [00:12:01] Speaker B: Thought was very high tech. [00:12:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I thought that was very chic. Okay, so he can't cold even. There's another fire reference. Jason comes over. We find out that Jason is the youngest of, like, seven kids and he has 18 nieces. Of course, this is like Mormon. They should have just put this in Utah because that's what it's giving, right? Like, no hot beverages. [00:12:24] Speaker B: Italians use birth control now. I mean. Right. The Catholics are catching up. [00:12:29] Speaker A: And there is no way that mother gave birth to seven kids. I'm sorry. [00:12:32] Speaker B: I really liked her. [00:12:33] Speaker A: She was good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she was good. Okay. So we also find out because the divorced brother is there that Jason lived in Los Angeles to not too long ago. So they're both sort of heathens. But Jason left. All right, so he hatches a plan, because Jason, of course, saves the day by making these pancakes which the shape of Christmas trees. [00:12:57] Speaker B: He goes above and beyond. They're not only vegan, they're Christmas. [00:13:01] Speaker A: They're green. They're Christmas trees. They've got snow on them. They look hideous. And of course, these kids are thrilled. So Sam hatches a plan for Jason to be a co nanny or an uncle consultant and to pay him for his time. Now Jason reveals. You know what? I'm gonna take this cash because I need some money. I need money for my lawyer to adopt my own kids. Keeps that a little bit of a secret. [00:13:29] Speaker B: Yeah, but he needs money for a. Yeah. Retainer. [00:13:32] Speaker A: Right. [00:13:33] Speaker B: This mysterious retainer. [00:13:34] Speaker A: All right. This might have been my favorite moment in the whole thing. There's two favorite moments. He's leaving, and he's like, listen, you've got to change your sweater because you got some batter on it. And he's like, you also got batter on your. Wait for it. Rossini loafers. [00:13:50] Speaker B: Oh, my God. No, this was the best. This was the best. And remember last I made a rap. I said light in the loafers. Like they. Ha. There's no way. [00:13:58] Speaker A: Yes. [00:13:59] Speaker B: Okay. Rossini loafers. Is that. No. No, I didn't think so. [00:14:02] Speaker A: I was like, no, of course not. And all of had to ask. [00:14:05] Speaker B: Label queen. [00:14:05] Speaker A: Yes. Thank you for that. If there is. If there isn't, there should be. So he. That's like. That's the tell. [00:14:14] Speaker B: Light bulb. [00:14:14] Speaker A: That's the light bulb moment. This guy knows what Rossini loafers are. He must like, dick. Yeah, like, that's where that goes. So I just was like, okay, that is really funny. Next scene, we go to a Christmas market. Jason and Sam are walking around, and they run into another sort of like, Stepford gay couple, which is really weird because they're just. They have no lines, and they're just there. [00:14:40] Speaker B: They're just standing there holding hands with frosted tips on the one of them just like, yeah, gay gingerbread men. [00:14:47] Speaker A: The sister calls and says, listen, this kid is not coming yet. It might be closer to Christmas than we thought. The next day, he gets up and he has to wear his aloha shirt. [00:15:01] Speaker B: Because he has all he packed. [00:15:02] Speaker A: That's all he packed. Gay aloha shirts with Santas on them and, like, Hawaiian motif. No gay man in the history of gay men, certainly not a New York City one, would ever wear this shirt. [00:15:17] Speaker B: No. [00:15:18] Speaker A: All right, so the mom comes in. This is where it all goes wrong. With Jason's dog. Jason's dog runs for a toy that Sam is holding, and Sam falls into the tree. I mean, classic. Whoa. [00:15:39] Speaker B: I mean, he's such a Muppet. Yeah. [00:15:42] Speaker A: And this guy mugs his way through this thing, and it's really a lot. So this is strike two for me. The Falling into the tree. And like, oh, I can't get up. And there's a piece of ribbon. And, you know. [00:15:54] Speaker B: And what'll we do? The tree looks like the same piece of trash with the blue decorations that it did before it fell down. And it's like, ah, it looks exactly. [00:16:01] Speaker A: The same as it. Yes. Going up as it did. Coming down, et cetera. Anyway, the mother's like, well, you have to go to the Christmas lights walk, which is. [00:16:10] Speaker B: This is the thing. This is our second lights walk. [00:16:11] Speaker A: Well, yes. And this is your education in these. So there's a beautiful light walk, which is really sad. [00:16:19] Speaker B: All those crappy white birchy branches with the lights from, like. [00:16:24] Speaker A: Terrible. That's it. Yeah, terrible. We get another fire reference because the entire devitoes are there and they all know the gays are hanging out again. Stepford gays. He falls again. I don't know why he falls in the. He trips over something. So. And this is my favorite line of the episode or the movie. Jason says to him, do you have an inner ear disorder? I love that line. Because by this point, it's like, something's off with this dude. He can't stand up. He's. He's a mess. He's. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right, the adopted baby is born. We get a cry on that says, two days until Christmas. He goes downstairs. Jason is making breakfast, because that's what he does. [00:17:14] Speaker B: And guess what else? He's making coffee. [00:17:18] Speaker A: Not only coffee, but, like, French. [00:17:19] Speaker B: French press. Yes. Yes. Well, he had to bring it over. They had nothing there to possibly ever make coffee. [00:17:24] Speaker A: Yeah. And God forbid you should plug in a device. [00:17:26] Speaker B: No. He was like, where are the pods? With his first. [00:17:29] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, we forgot about the pods. And. And Dan is like, Dan is killing the environment. I'm going to kill you. [00:17:34] Speaker B: I'm a vegan. [00:17:35] Speaker A: Yes, I'm a vegan. I hate my sister. I'm gonna kill you. Danya, Give this girl a name forever. All right, so the baby gets texted around. Jason sees the baby. He also sees a green sweater because he's in town shopping around. He sees a green sweater in the window. [00:17:53] Speaker B: And I think he visits his brother at the hardware store, which is, like, not a hardware store. It's like a Yankee Candle. Thank you. And his brother's like, you should go. Like, he's, like, pushing him to take a chance on this guy. [00:18:05] Speaker A: Right? Looks like a Pottery Barn. [00:18:06] Speaker B: It's definitely not a hardware store. The fact that he gets PA there at some point is baffling. [00:18:09] Speaker A: He's like, I just came in for a can of paint. And some way there's just one can of paint in this, like, Hallmark store, basically. And. And, yeah, but that's the DeVito hardware store. So the baby gets texted around, and. [00:18:25] Speaker B: But the dad is famously at his fishing cabin where there is no reception. [00:18:30] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:18:31] Speaker B: They have let us know. [00:18:32] Speaker A: Exactly. So they FaceTime. And Danya, you can tell, she's like. Doesn't even look at the kid. She's like, I hate that kid. I cannot wait for this kid to come home, and I'm gonna sabotage the shit out of it. I'm not even doing the crafts that I'm supposed to. I'm supposed to make her a stocking. I hate this kid. So Danya is like, forget it. The two queens are painting the. I think it's the nursery. And Jason opens up about bad dating. You know, that la. What? [00:19:04] Speaker B: Soulless, heartless, horrible. [00:19:07] Speaker A: All the men ghosting him just because he wants a kid and he has to run back. I forget the name of the town because it wasn't Brady. Yeah. It just wasn't great. [00:19:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:17] Speaker A: It should have been Evergreen or something. All right, so now they're drinking wine. [00:19:22] Speaker B: Is the play coming? Have we addressed that? The kid isn't a play. Are we not there yet? [00:19:26] Speaker A: We can do it. Yeah. [00:19:29] Speaker B: Cause he has a crush. Jason has a niece. Correct. And Daniel's older brother has a crush on this niece. [00:19:34] Speaker A: Correct. [00:19:35] Speaker B: And so the. What the heck is the kid's name? I don't know. Andrew. He doesn't really want to be in the play, but he wants to get close to this girl. And Jason is like, the set. Decorate the prop mat. I don't know. But he works on the theater. His whole family's doing this Christmas play. So we have that side plot going. [00:19:51] Speaker A: Correct. And Sam reveals. Well, I was in Christmas plays as a kid. Maybe I can help him. [00:19:57] Speaker B: And we're like, shocking. That is. So that man was in girl, the actor. Yeah. And the character. I was like, this is ringing so true. [00:20:05] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. You are so right. All right. Now they're drinking wine, which is a little bit of a break, you know? Cause for original Hallmark movies, they didn't even drink cocoa. All cocoa, all the time. [00:20:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:15] Speaker A: Yeah. So they're drinking wine, and they're wrapping presents. And of course, Sam doesn't know how to wrap a present. I really hate this guy. They're touching hands, and all of a sudden, demon Danya interrupts them again. [00:20:32] Speaker B: Appears on the stairs, like. [00:20:37] Speaker A: And she's the ultimate cock. Block. And of course, they kind of make it look worse. Cause all they were doing was holding hands. [00:20:44] Speaker B: And then they put a blanket. [00:20:45] Speaker A: They put a blanket over there. [00:20:46] Speaker B: Yeah. You guys did not. [00:20:47] Speaker A: But then I was like, are they covering the presents or the boners? [00:20:52] Speaker B: I mean, it begs the question. I think it was the presents, but I wish it was the boner. [00:20:58] Speaker A: I thought that they don't get boners in this thing. [00:21:01] Speaker B: I know, but, like, we can imagine that they do. [00:21:03] Speaker A: How could you? All right, so Danya, of course, is like, I hate my sister. And Sam is like, I'm gonna go talk to her. He goes up. Jason does that thing that they all do in these movies where he stands behind. Go ahead. [00:21:21] Speaker B: It's so creepy. He's having this, like, heart to heart with a six year old, and he's just darkening the door of this child's bedroom. [00:21:28] Speaker A: See, that's what you saw. I saw the knowing look. And the moment he realized, maybe Sam is a father. Maybe Sam is father material. Maybe it's gonna be okay. And then, you know, you get that sort of like, side, you know, head. Yes. [00:21:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:46] Speaker A: Okay. Then we get to cry on. It's one day till Christmas, by the way. These parents, I think they're the worst parents in history. They're still not home. Sam comes down. Oh, and he tackles cooking. [00:22:01] Speaker B: Oh, yes. And manages to make muffins with like 17 different wrappers. 17 different kinds of muffins he's never cooked before. Eggs, bacon, I mean, the spread, the pastries, the pastry chefing that he gets up to in half an hour is really remarkable, really good. [00:22:17] Speaker A: And Jason gives him the slow clap. [00:22:21] Speaker B: And the kids join in. [00:22:22] Speaker A: And the kids join in and it's just like they can't believe it. The fire, the great fire is forgotten. And suddenly Sam can cook. All right. Jason gives him that. Well, he gives him two presents. He gives him like sort of an ugly Christmas sweater, which is presumably for the DeVito brunch. [00:22:40] Speaker B: Right? [00:22:40] Speaker A: And then an even uglier green sweater, and they have more eye fucking. All right. Danya finally decides to warm up to this new kid coming. And she starts making the stocking for her sister. This is all because of Sam. And then we get to the school play, which, by the way, is called the Adventures of Santa Claus. [00:23:04] Speaker B: I mean, come on. Tony's. But yeah, and he has talked this, his nephew through, right? He's like, right, Little secret. I used to be in a Christmas play. The kid is actually good at being a bad actor. Like the children in this. I was like, okay, you guys, they're out acting good adults. [00:23:23] Speaker A: I agree, I agree. Cause that's not always the case. But Donya. Yes. Give the girl an Emmy. I think this guy's kid's name was Miles. [00:23:31] Speaker B: Oh, it was. I call. It was Miles. [00:23:33] Speaker A: Finally. Okay, so Miles comes around. He teaches them how to act. Be confident, be strong, and how to ask out Alex Alexandria. And finally it's revealed that Alexandria also has a crush on him. So he's able to do the show. [00:23:48] Speaker B: And the gay uncle's, like, running point on that. He hears the rumor that she indeed does like him. And then he really. He takes the stage and he knocks it out of the park. [00:23:58] Speaker A: He's a pro. He's getting a Tony Award. Meanwhile, the parents still aren't there. I love that the parents miss this and they're like, oh, it's okay. [00:24:07] Speaker B: Well, there's a storm coming. [00:24:08] Speaker A: There is a storm coming. [00:24:09] Speaker B: And they can't get a hold of anybody else to help them drive in their shitty car. [00:24:13] Speaker A: Right. [00:24:14] Speaker B: Somehow. [00:24:15] Speaker A: Because they have to be safe. [00:24:16] Speaker B: But dad has an suv. But how will we get a hold of him at this receptionless cabin? [00:24:21] Speaker A: By Mr. Biddle. [00:24:23] Speaker B: By Mr. Biddle. And this is Sam saving the day. Having this old fisherman's phone number is like the gallant act of Christmas. Saved. [00:24:30] Speaker A: That was creepy to me. All of a sudden he's like, well, I used to go fishing with Mr. Biddle. [00:24:35] Speaker B: Yeah, Mr. Biddle. [00:24:38] Speaker A: And Mr. Biddle can get to dad and. La la, la, la, la. All right, so we're back at home. Jason puts out the ubiquitous milk and cookies for Santa and is sad that Sam is leaving. Cause Sam is still going to Hawaii. He's like, no, I'm out. I am out. And then they realize, well, they have a tradition, or Sam has a tradition. When he was growing up, they would turn off all the lights in the house except for the ones on the tree and sing Silent Night. [00:25:08] Speaker B: Right. Okay. Is Silent Night not public domain? How did we not cue music on this? And why does Jason end up singing? [00:25:15] Speaker A: Well, Jason starts singing, but only it's not bad. It's not bad, but it's only a line. [00:25:20] Speaker B: And then he hums a little bit. [00:25:21] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a little acapella, I think they hold. Yeah. If they hold hands, they're about to kiss. [00:25:27] Speaker B: And then interrupted just by a car going past outside. [00:25:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Why can't these people just kiss? [00:25:33] Speaker B: Yeah, just kiss. I mean that, like, it's going to take them some time to get in from the car. They got to be yeah, like you guys could do this, right? [00:25:40] Speaker A: All right. So. [00:25:41] Speaker B: And then the check. Forgot about the check, because he's going to pay. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Yes. [00:25:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Sam had decided, you're doing so much. I'm going to pay you. And this was the discreet moment where he's like, well, I do need money for this retainer. And Sam. Mister. Hello, Stavros. Hello, Duchess. Sam is like, well, how much? And Jason just shows him a number. And Sam doesn't bat an eyelash. [00:26:01] Speaker A: No. He's like, I'll pay you more. [00:26:03] Speaker B: Yeah. And so he goes to give him the check, and in fact, it is more. And then in this moment where Sam needs to go out and help with the baby or whatever, Jason goes and takes the check and puts it into the stocking that Donya had made for her uncle. [00:26:16] Speaker A: He's like, I am not gonna be. [00:26:18] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's all this was. Transactional. That's all this was. [00:26:22] Speaker A: It makes no sense to me. That part makes no sense. Why aren't you taking the money, girl? Like, you need the money. [00:26:29] Speaker B: Yeah. You want that baby? The baby? You're like, I won't be. [00:26:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:33] Speaker B: All right. [00:26:33] Speaker A: But this is to say that Jason. [00:26:36] Speaker B: Has principles and he really likes Sam. It wasn't just. [00:26:40] Speaker A: Exactly. But then Sam has a realization. He really does like Jason, and he decides to stay. But Jason seems really pissed off over the whole thing. Like, he can't wrap his head around it. Finally, we get to Christmas Day. Okay, this is where it gets weird. He texts Jason. He shows a picture of Danya on the, you know, scooter that was wrapped, like. Yeah. [00:27:08] Speaker B: Horribly. [00:27:08] Speaker A: Yep, yep. And no response. And we get that scene where those three dots are going, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. And you are in anticipation of the. You know, the response. [00:27:18] Speaker B: But Jason thinks that Sam was gonna get on a plane to Hawaii, like, after he had Rat's presence, and he's gonna miss the DeVito brunch. That's what Jason thinks. [00:27:26] Speaker A: Correct. And he looks out the window, and he sees what he thinks is a sort of airport transfer van, but it's really a delivery van to welcome this new baby that Danya's gonna like an. [00:27:37] Speaker B: Edible Arrangement or whatever. [00:27:39] Speaker A: So. All right. So he decides. Of course. Sam decides, oh, this is great. Cause the father's finally there, and he's like, listen, I'll make breakfast for the family. And. And the father says, well, I'll take some pancakes. And Sam freaks out the pancake tears. [00:27:59] Speaker B: He's so triggered because remember when Jason made those pancakes? He, like, goes on the porch and holds his head like the trigger that the word pancakes. [00:28:08] Speaker A: I mean, that really, again, this guy is the most unattractive person I think I have ever, ever seen on film. A pancake triggers him. He's got sad face. He's got. Got tears. It's just horrible. We go over to the DeVito's and, you know, the whole family's there. There's like 47 people. I don't know why I'm giving them this New York accent. They don't have that. [00:28:32] Speaker B: They don't. But they do cross themselves whenever possible. [00:28:34] Speaker A: Yes, they do. Yes. And they speak in tandem. Okay. So he's talking to his brother, the divorce brother, which, by the way, is a sin. [00:28:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:45] Speaker A: So everyone's just sitting in this thing. So the divorce brother is, like. Gives him some advice, you know, like. And then I. I don't even listen to those advice things because they're always so horrible. And he finally admits that he likes Sam, but he's afraid that he just can't commit to this family thing. Finally, they both realize that they have to get over their fear. Oh, the brother is like, you mean he paid you for what he said he was going to do? [00:29:13] Speaker B: The brother has had his head in the right place about that. He's like, dude, yeah, what's the problem? Yeah. [00:29:19] Speaker A: Okay. So Sam and Jason have the same realization. Jason thinks Sam is going to the airport. Sam thinks he's at the DeVito's for the brunch, and there's sort of like that running. You know, that classic gotta run somewhere. [00:29:36] Speaker B: Yeah, but it's just across the street. [00:29:39] Speaker A: And there's no way that anybody wouldn't have seen anything that's going on. All right, so there's a little bit of a miss thing. Sam runs over to the DeVito's, and they're like. He's over at his house. And Sam runs across the street and they kiss. They finally kiss. A very closed mouth, very chaste Hallmark kiss. But then they kiss again. And they realize that, you know, they're happy. They're going to make it work. They're gonna do whatever it watches. And then the camera pulls out. And who's watching? The entire family. Not only the Devitos, but the other ones. [00:30:23] Speaker B: They're all out there on the street cheering. Cheering on us. [00:30:27] Speaker A: Cheering. [00:30:27] Speaker B: This gay kiss. [00:30:28] Speaker A: This gay kiss. [00:30:29] Speaker B: I mean. [00:30:30] Speaker A: All right. And that's where it ends. So, love. After all of this, where do you think Sam is going? To end up living. [00:30:41] Speaker B: Oh, obviously. And Brady, I feel like it's Brady, the town. He's dead. He's got it. He can't live in the evil den of iniquity that is New York City, in a way. [00:30:48] Speaker A: No, no. [00:30:49] Speaker B: And listen, it turns out if you don't like something, you try it one more time. You don't think you can cook? Just try it one more time. You don't think you want a parent? Just have two conversations with kids and you'll realize that, you know, what you thought you wanted is not what you wanted. [00:31:02] Speaker A: Okay, So I agree. They're gonna settle down in Brady or Brayden. They're going to be the second gay couple there. These, at least they talk. The other ones, I don't know. They just exist. And they're going to definitely have kids. All right. [00:31:18] Speaker B: Yeah, he's got the money. Now the lawyers come in. The baby's on the way. [00:31:20] Speaker A: The baby's on its way. [00:31:21] Speaker B: They're pregnant. [00:31:22] Speaker A: And also no problems. There's no paperwork. There's no. [00:31:25] Speaker B: Yeah. And they were definitely going to give a child to a single gay man. I feel like that would be very difficult. [00:31:30] Speaker A: Yeah. There was no social workers. There was no visits. [00:31:33] Speaker B: It's happening. [00:31:33] Speaker A: Everyone's just getting babies in this thing. But good. The good news is Danya's gonna take care of all these kids. Like, she's like, I am gonna be the only kid in Brady or Braden. So we have Donna take care of them. [00:31:46] Speaker B: She might mean it the way the devitos mean it, if you know what I mean. [00:31:49] Speaker A: All right, what did they get right in this movie? And what did they get really wrong? [00:31:54] Speaker B: I mean, what did they get right? Again, I like the child actors. [00:31:59] Speaker A: Good. That's a great answer. Yeah. [00:32:05] Speaker B: And that this kid had done theater that was, like, honest to me. Again, like, there's no the stakes. But I guess I'm gonna continue to be sort of shocked by this. Like, there's really not a lot in the way of what, you know, is going to happen, happening. But I guess that's the joy of this. Like, you're like, I think I know what's gonna happen. I was right. Like, is that why people love these? [00:32:31] Speaker A: I don't know, Lauren. We'll just have to see next week what the stakes are. All right, now, what I think they got right is the Meet Cute. I was okay with that. Meet Cute. [00:32:42] Speaker B: Like the from behind, though. [00:32:44] Speaker A: Yeah, the from behind. Fall in, Scared of a Dog. What they got wrong, I hate, first of all, I hate this trope. In any kind of rom com. But it's the thing where the ingenue or the girl is always bumbling and tripping and knocking over Christmas trees. Knocking over things. [00:33:01] Speaker B: Maybe they have an inner ear disorder. That was a pretty good line. [00:33:04] Speaker A: That was a good line. And now they put it on him and it just. It doesn't. It doesn't work for her. It doesn't work for him. It's just. Just annoying, so. Those were mine, too. Okay. Would you fuck either of these two? [00:33:19] Speaker B: No. No, I would not. Because if Jason was, like, in a vampire movie, like, the angular. You know what I mean? If he was gonna maybe, like, bite me on the. I would think about letting him. But as this, like, I'm not. I'm not buying him as this. [00:33:33] Speaker A: Okay, you bring up a really good point. I was a. First of all, I wouldn't fuck either of them. Yeah, but you bring up a really good point. Jason's teeth scared me. They were the biggest teeth. The biggest set, like, set of chompers. [00:33:50] Speaker B: Think it was a flipper. I don't. [00:33:53] Speaker A: I don't know if it was a flipper, but it. Maybe it was so aggressive that I was like, I can't sleep with you because something is gonna fall off. I don't know what, but those teeth scared me. So, Yes, I would not sleep with either of them, which is not a good sign. [00:34:10] Speaker B: No, no, no. You know, come on, let's get some ass gay guys. We're gonna do this for the first time. [00:34:15] Speaker A: Yes. Thank you. But we did, like, the brat. What was Hutton Lee from Royal Montana. He could get it. He could get it. Okay. Yeah. [00:34:24] Speaker B: If he was in this movie. Okay. [00:34:26] Speaker A: Okay, my last and final question, which is my favorite question. Who would you play in the holiday. What's it called? The Holiday Sitter? [00:34:37] Speaker B: I think I would play Ellie. I would butch Ellie up. [00:34:41] Speaker A: Interesting. Yeah. [00:34:42] Speaker B: I feel like I wanted her to be a way more fun lesbian than she was. She was. Yeah. [00:34:48] Speaker A: They needed, like, Sandra Bernhard for that role. Yeah. It's like, give it some teeth. And that actress was pretty good, so. Okay. [00:34:55] Speaker B: Yeah, she wasn't bad. But I. Yeah, but I would play her. [00:34:58] Speaker A: Okay, you would play Ellie. I think for this, I'm torn between Danya, because I would make it real dark. [00:35:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:07] Speaker A: And I just love that she's always there, like, screwing things up and demanding pancakes and seething and plotting and there's a real darkness to Donya. But I would probably play the brother that was, like, directing the Christmas spectacle. That's probably what I would do. [00:35:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:26] Speaker A: Okay. [00:35:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:27] Speaker A: All right, so that is our recap of the holiday sitter, a 2022 romantic comedy, the first holiday romance with a leading LGBTQ couple. Lauren, as always, thank you. And there's nobody I'd rather be doing this with. If you have any questions, please email [email protected] we will see you soon, all of my holiday hoes. See you soon. Bye. Bye.