Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:08] Speaker A: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Label Queen. I am your host, James Aguiar, and these are the very, very special Hallmark episodes. Now this is a lot of fun. We are recapping all of the bat craziness. We are roasting, we are toasting. And I couldn't do it without my own very favorite Christmas angel, writer, comedian, producer, Lauren Kinchela. Lauren, welcome. Hey, host, you just descended from a cloud for this one.
Wow.
[00:00:46] Speaker A: By the way, how are you loving these?
[00:00:48] Speaker B: I mean, it's. Yeah, it's been eye opening. I.
[00:00:54] Speaker B: The. I'm new, as we know, to this genre, and I'm really. I'm learning so much.
[00:01:00] Speaker A: That's the best part. I mean, you're. You're learning so much. And this one in particular takes a lot of learning. Not only do you need to know quantum physics, you need to know how to read a compass, build a boat.
[00:01:17] Speaker A: Engineering.
You need to understand how astrology works.
[00:01:26] Speaker B: Astronomy. Astronomy. I think string theory is.
Yeah. A feature of this. And of course, how to throw a ball.
[00:01:35] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:01:35] Speaker B: But that we saw coming. Unlike the comet.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: The Christmas comet.
[00:01:40] Speaker B: The Christmas comet.
[00:01:41] Speaker A: All right, let's get into it because we just set it up a little bit. We are roasting and toasting a new port Christmas. Yes, that is right. It is a recent Hallmark Channel time travel holiday. Moving. Starring Get Ready Gina, Claire Mason and Wes Brown.
The film premiered on Sunday, November 2nd. Fresh, fresh, fresh. And is available to stream on Hallmark. Okay. The movie's plot centers on a spirited Newport socialite from 1905, Ella Mason. She dreams of a life beyond an arranged marriage. After making a wish on a Christmas comet. We're gonna get to that.
She is mysteriously transported 120 years into the future to the year 2025. Now, in the present day, she meets and develops a connection with Nick, of course, a sailor and local historian. As their romance blossoms, Ella becomes reluctant to return to her time.
But staying in the future. This is the best part. Risks erasing the legacy she was meant to build in her own era. The two must work together to navigate the challenges of time travel and decide the fate of their new found love. Lauren, this was a lot.
[00:03:11] Speaker B: Yeah. But finally some stakes. You know, it's not like, oh, the only problem is she's a princess. It's like, no, it's a real problem if she doesn't go back in time. And then everyone's livelihood in current day Newport, especially the characters it centers around, would be destroyed. All right, so there's something on the table here. You know, finally, you have been waiting.
[00:03:31] Speaker A: For stakes and this one has a lot of them. And you really did need to pay attention to this one. And there was also some CGI and special effects.
[00:03:39] Speaker B: And, yeah, that green screen got well, well used.
[00:03:43] Speaker A: All right, we open in 1905, and there is a sort of governess running around the mansion giving orders and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[00:03:52] Speaker B: Sadie, she was kind of fierce.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: Sadie was. Was really on it.
I would definitely hire Sadie. All right, so she's the help is running around and they're getting ready.
[00:04:03] Speaker B: And where is Ella? How do you solve a problem like Marie, you know? Yes, we're looking for wayward spirited Ella.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: Yeah, she is a spirited socialite who is wandering the streets of Newport and kind of just bestowing.
[00:04:18] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Just largesse upon the community.
[00:04:21] Speaker A: Well, the impoverished community. Yes. So she gives a scarf that she knitted.
She gives some money to Ada, who will come back later.
And she's just sort of understanding that she is privileged, but she must, must give back.
[00:04:39] Speaker B: Philanthropy is just coursing through her veins.
[00:04:42] Speaker A: All right. Finally, she goes back to the house, we meet her father, and they're planning the inaugural Christmas ball. I don't know why it took them so long to have this Christmas ball.
[00:04:52] Speaker B: They got, the estate, they got. It's all going for them. But, yeah, they. Well, it doesn't have to do with her meeting her.
[00:04:59] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:04:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: All right, so the father announces that he has arranged a marriage and she is to meet him at this inaugural Christmas ball.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: She, of course, wants to open a charity foundation.
[00:05:17] Speaker A: So no family is without food.
[00:05:19] Speaker B: That's right. Which is something no wife could ever do. No, there's no room for a marriage and running a chair.
No, no, no.
[00:05:27] Speaker A: Her father insists she must marry. And inexplicably, she's like, listen, I'm out, so I'm going to just. I'm leaving. And what does she do?
[00:05:39] Speaker B: She gets in a boat in her frock in the middle dead of winter just to go for a night sail. Cause that's how you blow off steam in 1905 when you're an heiress by.
[00:05:50] Speaker A: Yourself with no other people. She gets on her boat, she runs to the marina, which is filled with CGI.
[00:05:59] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:05:59] Speaker A: I mean, this is like Hollywood in 1920.
[00:06:05] Speaker A: Green screens and just totally.
[00:06:08] Speaker B: She may at one point be in a boat, but there is never a boat on the water.
[00:06:12] Speaker A: No.
[00:06:12] Speaker B: Yeah, no.
[00:06:13] Speaker A: You see her sort of getting in, but you never see actual water. It's a very strange thing. All right, so she goes out into the ocean.
[00:06:25] Speaker B: There's also no wind, which, you know, you kind of need to sail.
[00:06:29] Speaker A: Yeah, she knew what she was doing.
[00:06:30] Speaker B: And she does it all the time.
[00:06:32] Speaker A: She sets sail. Okay, we flash forward to 2025. Now she's on the boat. We flash forward to 2025. We see a hunk, and he's giving a tour because he is a local historian.
He gets called to a rescue because he's also works for the Coast Guard.
[00:06:51] Speaker B: Yeah, he's got some Coast Guard and.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: He'S a navigator and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right, flashback to Ella on the boat. And she sees this miraculous.
[00:07:01] Speaker B: This is like the thing that took out the dinosaurs. Like, this is not a star that you wish on. This is like, either aliens are coming or this is like the end of this planet. And she's just, like, charming. I mean, yes, it's a terrifying ball of fire. It's massive.
[00:07:17] Speaker A: And you do what anybody would do. You make a wish.
So she wishes on the star, and all of a sudden she turns around and Nick is on the boat.
[00:07:28] Speaker B: There's a man in the boat.
[00:07:29] Speaker A: She got a man. Honey.
[00:07:33] Speaker A: She did not even use a fishing rod.
She wished and she got a man, by the way. She did not wish for a man. No, but she got one, and he was a hunk. Okay, so confusion. This is my boat. This is my boat. She also has a very strange way of speaking.
[00:07:53] Speaker B: It's a little heightened, like.
[00:07:55] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:07:56] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is it, transatlantic or something?
[00:08:00] Speaker A: Continental. Yeah, transatlantic. Standard stage speech. I mean, this girl is straight out of high school drama, right?
All right.
They sort of bicker on the boat. And neither one of them is like, this is.
They're just sort of like, okay, get off my boat. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So they go into the marina. She gets startled by.
[00:08:23] Speaker B: By a scooter. Like, they did have wheels in 1905. Like, it's not that crazy.
[00:08:28] Speaker A: She can't take it. A skateboard. She can't recognize her Newport. She swoons, she swoons.
He catches her. He introduces himself for the first time. He is called Nick McManny. And she, of course, is Ella Stewart.
And she says that thing, what balderdash is balderdash.
[00:08:49] Speaker B: Yeah, I wrote that down. It was great.
[00:08:50] Speaker A: Balderdash. Because she just can't take it. And he's thinking, because he knows history so well, that she is an Ella Grafton cosplayer.
Who is Ella Grafton Stewart? I don't know. She gets married at some point and.
[00:09:09] Speaker B: Really quickly, over the fact that she's just appeared on his Boat like that. An Ella Grafton cosplay. Like, oh, there must be an.
For this. Yes. Yeah.
[00:09:17] Speaker A: Okay. He, of course, tells her, well, a lot has changed. We have electric cars, synthesized DNA.
We went to the moon.
[00:09:28] Speaker B: He hasn't listed.
[00:09:30] Speaker A: We went to the moon. And what she takes umbrage with is inflatable snowman.
[00:09:36] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, oh, wait, that's when she swoons. Actually, it's the inflatable snowman. Although of all of those accomplishments, like, I take umbrage with the inflatable snowman myself. I can relate to that.
[00:09:47] Speaker A: She doesn't care about electric cars. She doesn't care.
[00:09:49] Speaker B: She looks up.
[00:09:50] Speaker A: But synthesized DNA.
She doesn't care that we went to the moon, but she cannot take the fact that we have inflatable snowmen.
[00:09:59] Speaker B: Get it, girl.
[00:10:00] Speaker A: Get it, mama. All right. They go for a stroll. I love this. The houses are. Oh, he says, this is a good line. The houses are bigger, but the families are smaller.
There's Christmas lights.
She sees ornaments and women wearing pants.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: We're gonna get to Nordstrom Rack in a bit.
[00:10:21] Speaker B: And they really rack up those references, don't they?
[00:10:25] Speaker A: Please. If they didn't sponsor this, I would be very upset. Anyway, all right. They go to the house, her house, which is now a museum.
[00:10:35] Speaker B: And she's still Ella Stewart. So when she sees Ella Stewart. Grafton.
[00:10:38] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:10:39] Speaker B: Which was the name. Her father said that she was to be introduced to a Grafton. Right. But she's like, what is this not my name?
[00:10:46] Speaker A: And she's confused. Why are all these people in my house?
She meets the lady boss. I think her name is Christine.
[00:10:56] Speaker A: And she loves her look. And she's like, where'd you get that? And she said, nordstrom Rack. And she says, I don't know who this Mr. Nordstrom is. Meanwhile, Nordstrom Rack is like, not even Nordstrom. And if she's of the Gilded Age of Newport, she was not. She was getting the best of the best. So I can't square that one off. All right? She calls her a lady boss immediately, which is such a now term, right?
And we meet her assistant.
[00:11:24] Speaker B: I know. I'm like, here comes the gay one.
[00:11:28] Speaker A: But is he.
[00:11:29] Speaker B: No. Well.
[00:11:30] Speaker A: Well, I don't know. All right. Suddenly, she decides to give a tour, of course. And all of the townspeople are into it because.
[00:11:40] Speaker B: So charming. She's charming.
[00:11:42] Speaker A: She knows the house.
[00:11:44] Speaker B: And she's a dead ringer for Ella.
[00:11:46] Speaker A: She's a dead ringer, and she's dressed perfectly. All right?
We go into the living room.
We spot a painting that she had was commissioned in 1906.
[00:12:00] Speaker B: Very important year after her disappearance.
[00:12:01] Speaker A: Thank you. She does not recognize this painting, which I'm assuming was painted by John Singer Sargent. Yeah. Yes, of course.
[00:12:10] Speaker B: But she looks truly happy.
[00:12:11] Speaker A: She looks so happy. And she can't understand because she doesn't remember it. And it's all starting to get a little fuzzy.
She runs back to the house.
[00:12:22] Speaker A: Christine and her employer are planning the ball.
She. Oh, this is crazy.
She just. Did I skip ahead?
[00:12:31] Speaker A: No, I did not. That's how crazy this is.
[00:12:37] Speaker A: She runs back to the house. For some reason, she leaves. They're planning the ball. She discovers a secret behind the painting. A hidden diary.
Now, Christine is, like, freaked out because.
[00:12:51] Speaker B: She knows every inch of this estate.
[00:12:54] Speaker A: And she's read the diaries, but.
[00:12:55] Speaker B: And the diaries downstairs in a case of glass.
[00:12:58] Speaker A: So it's all starting to get a little twisted. They're like, you can't stay here. This is a museum. So we're moving you to an Airbnb.
[00:13:09] Speaker A: Okay. We meet Francis.
Now, that's the assistant. Correct?
[00:13:15] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:16] Speaker A: Okay. Who works for Christine.
[00:13:18] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:13:20] Speaker A: Frances is a sci fi nerd who thinks a cosmic wrinkle may have occurred.
[00:13:27] Speaker B: Yeah. So time is a river. And this is where. I mean, I can't wrap my mind around this. In, like, a normal sci fi movie. I'm like, okay, it does my head in every time. And now it's, you know, doing it in with Tinsel, with Hallmark.
[00:13:39] Speaker A: I know, I know. All right. So Christine brings her clothes, which she's like, fine, but she doesn't. She's not like, pants, you know, she's just like, puts these clothes on. And by the way, it's like an endless wardrobe. She just keeps changing.
[00:13:52] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Christine really hooked her up. She's got the whole rack.
[00:13:56] Speaker A: She's got the whole Nordstrom rack. All right. Nick is in the room next door. She, of course, says, but we must need a chaperone.
[00:14:05] Speaker A: And it turns out she, of course, knows Edith Wharton.
So that, of course, would try.
[00:14:11] Speaker B: And that's also on top of his reading list.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: Right. And it would make sense that they're trying to make this thing more, I don't know, literally.
[00:14:19] Speaker B: Eyebrow.
[00:14:19] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:14:20] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:20] Speaker A: More literary than it actually is. They start to connect over a quote.
Oh, this is good.
I'm gonna read it.
Being human ensures that life will always be complicated but beautiful. And she's like, that's beautiful. Who said that? And he says, you did.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: I loved it.
[00:14:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:43] Speaker B: Okay. You know, that actually moved me.
[00:14:45] Speaker A: Okay, me too. Thank you, thank you. Thank you so Much. She, of course, has this incredible legacy that she knows nothing about. She hasn't started her foundation. She hasn't started. So this is all. All new to her. They go to what may be my.
[00:15:00] Speaker B: The only good joke in the movie. Right? I loved it.
[00:15:04] Speaker A: Do you remember what it was? Oh, yeah.
[00:15:06] Speaker B: Brood Awakening.
I think it's good.
Honestly, like, this was pretty humorless, but Brood Awakenings for the win, right? I liked it.
[00:15:16] Speaker A: Yes. Did you? Yes.
And they had to make those scenes signs real quick, too. So kudos to whoever came up with Brood Awakening.
You get the Emmy for writing.
So they go to Brood Awakenings for a latte, which is kind of interesting that it wasn't cocoa, but they get a latte. It's got, of course, got Christmas tree art. They start to piece together the comet.
[00:15:42] Speaker A: They're kind of just figuring it out together. Right.
[00:15:47] Speaker B: They're like calmly over these lattes, which. He orders her an oat milk latte. And I'm like, why the hell is it oat milk? Little do I know they're gonna like oat milk. That joke that she is like, it just keeps coming back and back, but it's so not funny. It's like you had a win with Brood Awakenings. This oat milk. Like, how does one milk an oat?
[00:16:06] Speaker A: Okay, so why do you think, like, oh, was that just because.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: That's because they wanted to make that dumb joke? Yeah.
[00:16:12] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:16:13] Speaker B: A couple of times.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: All right, so they leave Brood Awakenings, and they, of course, have the ubiquitous empty coffee cups.
How do you.
[00:16:20] Speaker B: And I was excited. I was like, you can see there's liquid in the cups. And then cut to. They're walking around with empty cups.
[00:16:25] Speaker A: All right. They go to a Christmas market. Of course, they run into a random person who comes up with lights. And Nick admits he doesn't participate. That Christmas is not really part of his.
Sort of.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Yeah. Someone who is a local historian and Coast Guard member, but participation, not really his thing.
[00:16:45] Speaker A: Right. And she can't understand it. I can't either. We get another Nordstrom Rack reference.
[00:16:52] Speaker A: And she sees the Giving House Memorial. Now, mind you, they have already pieced together that she cannot see any part of history.
[00:17:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Francis the assistant is like, this could, you know, screw up the space time continuum, and then everything will all disappear. I mean, these are stakes.
[00:17:10] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:17:11] Speaker B: So that we've acknowledged. Yeah.
[00:17:12] Speaker A: All right, so. And the things could start to disappear, and she just can't.
So they're really getting.
[00:17:18] Speaker B: And as they discuss this, she's like, skipping about looking at Everything.
[00:17:20] Speaker A: Right. And by the way, the Giving House Memorial looked like a tombstone. It was not cute.
[00:17:26] Speaker B: And the Giving House exists. It doesn't need to be in memorandum, you know, it's there, all right.
[00:17:33] Speaker A: Time is a river. You being here is erasing history.
She starts to understand it, but she sees a laptop for the first time, which she calls. You know what she calls it?
[00:17:44] Speaker B: Remember?
[00:17:44] Speaker A: You don't remember the Talking Box.
We'll get to that later. Because she discovers Ciri, they start to Google comets and magnetic activity and the strange phenomenon.
[00:18:01] Speaker A: We cut to Christine, who needs help, of course, with the ball. Yes.
[00:18:07] Speaker B: And who. I mean, how are we gonna figure out what a ball would be like? It's an old timey ball. We're trying to harken back to these days around the turn of the century. Whoever would be able to with such a project?
[00:18:19] Speaker A: Ella.
[00:18:20] Speaker B: Ella. Because she is straight out of 1905.
[00:18:24] Speaker A: Straight out of 1905. And by the way, on all these movies, there's, like, one person that does everything.
Now, as somebody who decorates a lot, it takes hours, days, weeks, and these people just put it together in an afternoon.
[00:18:39] Speaker B: She is lamenting that she only has five days, but she's putting sprig by sprig by sprig of the pine trimmings into. I mean.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: Yeah, it's going to take five days if you're doing it like that lady.
[00:18:53] Speaker A: All right, so she finds the talking box, and she decides that she's going to figure out how to make this work. And of course, Siri comes on, which I think is a good use of technology, and she Googles herself, and she finds out she marries a Navy officer named Rex. So this is written in history.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: Rex Grafton.
[00:19:17] Speaker A: Rex Grafton. Who is this Rex Grafton?
[00:19:20] Speaker B: He surely is not, Nick. For whom she is rapidly.
[00:19:23] Speaker A: Okay, yeah. And then she starts reading about the Christmas comet. It will come back on Christmas eve.
[00:19:31] Speaker B: It's every 20 years, right?
[00:19:33] Speaker A: It's every 20 years. And she admits that she.
[00:19:37] Speaker B: Because at the Cosmos follows our calendar every 20 years on Christmas.
[00:19:42] Speaker A: Yeah, that tracks In Newport.
[00:19:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:46] Speaker A: In the middle of the ocean, where they seem to know the coordinates. Okay.
She admits that she wished for a different life. Well, girl, you got it. Okay? You got it. You got a man. You got Nordstrom rack, You've got pants.
[00:20:01] Speaker B: You'Ve got oatmeal lattes. I mean, it's all happening for you, okay?
[00:20:04] Speaker A: And she's not like, she's not freaked out by anything. She's just sort of. I mean, slightly, but sort of like Okay. I live here now. It's weird. All right.
They go to a parade. I think it's a light parade, Right?
[00:20:20] Speaker B: Oh, the boat parade.
[00:20:22] Speaker A: Parade, yes.
[00:20:23] Speaker B: I mean, I was disappointed. Three boats. And one of them has an inflatable snowman on it.
[00:20:28] Speaker A: But she's wearing jeans.
Yeah.
[00:20:30] Speaker B: And of boots. Did you see those boots?
[00:20:32] Speaker A: She got boots. And she's got this house handbag, which I thought was pretty fabulous. It was like a big house. It kind of was like her. Her. I don't know her history. There we hear his boring backstory, and he was in love, but it wasn't a match. Who cares? Like, how old are these?
[00:20:49] Speaker B: I was like, surely she died.
No, it just kind of didn't work out. That's okay.
[00:20:55] Speaker A: But you brought this up once before. Like, these people are in their 40s and 50s.
Yeah. Shouldn't you have had, like seven, eight, 10 relationships by now? Anyway. All right, we go back to brood awakenings, where she's reading a map. Go, girl.
Read your map.
She's taken the future, but the past needs her. So she really decides that she loves this kind of future.
[00:21:25] Speaker B: I mean, they need her for the ball. But also, if she doesn't get back to the past from the future, then none of this will exist.
[00:21:32] Speaker A: All right, so she decides that she was going to make the most of the present while they're there, because in a couple of days, she's got to get on that boat, find those coordinates, wish on that comet, all of it.
And we talk about modern day dating, which I think is. Is funny. Okay, we go back to Christine. She's stringing popcorn. Girl.
[00:21:54] Speaker A: You are not going to get done in time like stringing popcorn.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: No. That's not how we're gonna get this accomplished.
[00:22:01] Speaker A: She's just not.
[00:22:02] Speaker B: She's string.
[00:22:05] Speaker B: This about this crush that she has on Francis, her assistant. And then this. This is like the Hallmark relationship where there is absolutely nothing standing in the way of these two.
[00:22:15] Speaker A: Right.
[00:22:16] Speaker B: Getting together. Nothing.
[00:22:17] Speaker A: And. And by the way, so Christine is interesting because she's potentially sexually harassing her employee.
Right. So I'm not sure if this museum has a HR department, but I'm a little concerned.
And she's also, really.
She owes her entire professional, fierce life to Ella because she. Ella was the first person. Yeah. To ever be a lady boss.
[00:22:46] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:22:47] Speaker A: And paved the way. So Christine.
[00:22:49] Speaker B: And it's a little cringey. She's like, I owe it all to you, white lady. You know, it's hard to swallow. Oh.
[00:22:56] Speaker A: And Christine is like, I owe it all to you while I sit here and string popcorn.
[00:23:02] Speaker B: Yeah, Fabulous life out.
[00:23:04] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:23:07] Speaker A: So Ella and. Is it Nick? Yeah, yeah. Ella and Nick are walking around and she passes somebody on the street and she's like.
And he's like. He turns.
[00:23:17] Speaker B: He's mad. Dogging them as well.
[00:23:18] Speaker A: Yeah. It's like, oh, who are they? And like, there's kind of like a. It's like a total cruising situation.
And he's like, who was that? And she's like, I just. He looks familiar. We go back to the museum and Nick knows him. Nick's like, well, everybody knows him. Yeah.
[00:23:34] Speaker B: In Newport, right?
[00:23:35] Speaker A: Yeah. And we can always find him. That's the best part.
[00:23:39] Speaker B: Yeah, certainly.
[00:23:40] Speaker A: All right. We go back to the museum. She's bossing everyone around, the volunteer.
She's got gingerbread houses going.
She overhears them saying she must go back.
And she's getting a little sad.
[00:23:52] Speaker B: Hiding behind a Christmas tree.
[00:23:53] Speaker A: She's of course, hiding behind a Christmas tree.
They're taking.
[00:23:58] Speaker A: Oh, okay. They're talking about an encyclopedia. The talking encyclopedia. That's what she calls the computer. The talking encyclopedia. I'm sorry.
[00:24:13] Speaker A: Nick finally admits that he has a thing for Ella.
And I think it's either Christine or Francis says, well, that gives new meaning to long distance relationships. That was a pretty good lie.
[00:24:24] Speaker B: Yeah, that was all right. That was all right. The brood awakenings punch up person did that.
[00:24:31] Speaker A: Somehow she finds the time to knit him a stocking.
[00:24:35] Speaker B: Right. That matches the stocking of hers that was in this compartment that had no dust, had not disintegrated. It's from 1905. It's still perfectly preserved in a wall.
[00:24:45] Speaker A: Okay. He. Because they're back at the Airbnb, he says, do you want to watch a Christmas movie?
[00:24:52] Speaker B: Right. Which I was like, ooh, this is meta. We're watching a Christmas movie in a Christmas movie. What is happening? And we're also the past, the future.
[00:24:58] Speaker A: It wasn't meta enough because they went for a stupid It's a Wonderful Life. It should have been like one of these shitty Hallmark movies. Then I would have been happy.
[00:25:07] Speaker B: Yeah. It was not quite self referential enough.
[00:25:09] Speaker A: All right.
We find out that Adam is a Coast Guard officer. He.
[00:25:15] Speaker B: The guy they saw on the street. Yes.
[00:25:17] Speaker A: He bought the Gilded Age from. Which is the name of the boat. So Adam bought the Gilded Age? No, Nick bought the Gilded Age from.
[00:25:25] Speaker B: Adam, but the name has disappeared. This is one of the.
[00:25:28] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:25:28] Speaker B: Maybe she really is from the past because it was the old name of the boat.
[00:25:32] Speaker A: Yep. He finally Teaches her how to use the talking encyclopedia or the talking box. Hijinks ensue when he says, move the mouse, and she's like, eek, a mouse.
[00:25:42] Speaker B: And jumps up on the thing. Yeah.
[00:25:44] Speaker A: She has an endless wardrobe. She meets Adam Rex. He's a Navy man known for his navigational skills. He saw the Comet in 2005.
All right, I'm gonna let you explain that if you can.
[00:25:58] Speaker B: So he saw the comet in 1900 and then was catapulted to. There's the math, I guess checks out. But he was in of her time.
[00:26:09] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:26:10] Speaker B: Saw the comet, and he landed in 2005 instead of 20. 25.
[00:26:13] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:26:14] Speaker B: So whatever these comet intervals, it makes sense. He left the past. But because of when he left, he showed up 20 years earlier. Every 20 years.
[00:26:21] Speaker A: Exactly. And he had been in Newport for 20 years, and he. And he's been.
[00:26:27] Speaker B: Got comfortable.
[00:26:28] Speaker A: Yes. Real fast.
[00:26:31] Speaker A: We realized the Christmas comet only is available every 20 years.
He received a letter that he must sell the boat. But he doesn't know where he got this letter from.
[00:26:44] Speaker B: Yeah, these letters that are moving through time and space. Like, did a letter see a comet? I don't know.
[00:26:48] Speaker A: Yeah. It's two days till the comet. It should. We rewrite history.
He wants history to stay.
And it finally admits he's fallen in love with somebody else. I think her name is Maven.
[00:27:00] Speaker B: Her name is Maven.
Weird choice. Not a good name.
[00:27:04] Speaker A: All right, so he is like, nope, I'm good. I'm getting mine.
[00:27:08] Speaker B: He's like, sorry about it. And they're like, wait. But if she doesn't go back, this whole thing is erased. He's like, don't really care. I don't work for the foundation. I got a hot babe.
[00:27:15] Speaker A: I'm staying, and I don't want to marry you.
[00:27:17] Speaker B: Yeah. And there's no chemistry. Yeah.
[00:27:19] Speaker A: And I can day drink here. Cause he's at the bar. He's at the bar.
[00:27:22] Speaker B: Sailor.
[00:27:24] Speaker A: All right, we find Adam. He wants to stay.
He's meant to rewrite history. That's what he says. And then we meet Ada, named after her great grandmother. She wants to stay, but he says, go.
She wants love. He grabs her. They kiss.
When will we be home? Okay, so what happens with Ada is they meet in the bar.
Ada admits that because of the giving house, she and her family has prospered.
[00:27:56] Speaker B: Yeah, they were brought out of poverty generations ago by Ella.
[00:28:02] Speaker A: Yeah, but don't forget, we met Ada's great grandmother in the very beginning.
[00:28:06] Speaker B: Yeah, she was roasting chestnuts. And even Though she had a little business going, it wasn't enough. She still needed the charity of Ella, but. Yeah, yeah.
[00:28:12] Speaker A: And she took those coins. Oh, yeah, yeah. And she was like, I'm good. All right. So they kiss, which is interesting.
Adam is not into Ella. He begs her to go to the ball. He admits he has a woman named Maven.
And.
[00:28:31] Speaker A: The map comes out again.
He remembers the coordinates.
There's some crazy math.
And he admits there was no rescue.
Oh, because he's the one in the beginning that tells Nick, you have to go. There's a rescue. He's the one that interrupts the tour.
[00:28:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:28:52] Speaker A: That's why Nick gets on the boat.
[00:28:54] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:28:55] Speaker A: I just put this together.
[00:28:58] Speaker B: So does that mean that Adam knew that Ella was coming?
[00:29:01] Speaker A: He knew. Cause he had a letter.
[00:29:03] Speaker B: Oh. It was like, you need to put.
He was supposed to be in the boat, but he wants to stay in present. So he was like, nick, why don't you get in this boat? Oh, shifty.
[00:29:14] Speaker A: Okay, finally, we go to the grand ball.
Christine has a dress. Ella, of course, has, like, some fucking Disney Frozen thing that she got from Nordstrom.
[00:29:25] Speaker B: Rad.
[00:29:26] Speaker A: Okay, third reference.
[00:29:28] Speaker B: No, they really better be.
[00:29:29] Speaker A: They really, really better be.
[00:29:34] Speaker A: Ella, this is the best part.
[00:29:36] Speaker B: The fan.
[00:29:37] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:37] Speaker B: Fan code.
[00:29:38] Speaker A: Do it.
[00:29:40] Speaker B: So Ella says, well, Christine, if you want to connect with this man, you should do what we always did and use a fan. Yes. She gives her a fan, which is just this tacky piece of trash fan that doesn't look good with her dress at all. Like, come on, Ella. But the.
[00:29:54] Speaker A: That was from Amazon.
[00:29:54] Speaker B: The codes are like, you put. Put it on your shoulder. It means you want to dance. You put it on your left cheek, and it means I love you or something. It's pretty strong. Yeah, yeah. And then she walks over to the man, Francis, who she's interested in, who I guess is interested in her. Although, surprise.
And he says, oh, you know what my favorite piece of fan code was? When you put it here, it means a kiss.
And they kiss. I mean, that's it. The fan really got them there.
[00:30:21] Speaker A: All right, so these are Victorian fan signals. She did not put it on her crotch. Which I think that's really where it needed to go. All right. Ella admits she's gotta be out of there by 10 because the comment is coming.
[00:30:37] Speaker A: Actually, it did work, though. The Victorian fan, because Francis and Chris.
Yeah, yeah. Okay. And now I am definitely calling HR all right. Nick walks in in his tuxedo, and he's looking pretty hot.
He says, they have to go. They have One dance, and.
[00:30:55] Speaker A: Adam and Maven enter, and they realize this is all too much. The tree starts to disappear.
[00:31:01] Speaker B: Oh, the. Oh, yeah, that CGI was something. The ornaments coming off.
[00:31:05] Speaker A: The ornaments are coming off the donations. Cause they were putting that for the giving House. Things get tense. They've gotta get to this boat. All right. Somehow she manages to redo her hair, put back on her Gilded Age clothes, and make it back to the boat. So I don't know how that all happened.
All right? They go to the doc.
He gives her an ugly ornament that he got bad. So bad.
[00:31:32] Speaker B: And he had it personalized. But, I mean, it's terrible.
[00:31:35] Speaker A: Terrible.
[00:31:36] Speaker B: Plastic. Well, I guess she was kind of excited about plastic because they didn't have.
[00:31:40] Speaker A: I mean.
[00:31:41] Speaker B: No, it's really bad.
[00:31:42] Speaker A: No, no, no. You could have done better. They have one last hug, and he's like, girl, bye. He throws her in the boat, and she takes off by herself. Somehow, knowing these coordinates, she sees the Christmas comet. She screams at it. She's ready and knows what love is.
She see, she goes back right away. She sees Ada.
[00:32:06] Speaker A: Oh, no. She runs into her governess.
[00:32:08] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. And Sadie. This is what. This is what's crazy to me about this part. Sadie's like, ella, you're here. I mean, everyone's been buzzing around, waiting. Where is Ella? Where's Ella? And she doesn't go and immediately tell her father that Ella's not dead.
[00:32:20] Speaker A: Right.
[00:32:20] Speaker B: I guess she's like, go get changed. We'll let your dad sweat it out a little longer. Like, in what world? So the dad doesn't know she's there, and the governess just sent her, like, upstairs.
[00:32:30] Speaker A: So. Yes. You bring up the best point of this whole thing. This bitch has been missing.
[00:32:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:34] Speaker A: For weeks.
[00:32:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:35] Speaker A: And they're still throwing the ball.
[00:32:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:38] Speaker A: There's still gas.
[00:32:39] Speaker B: Yeah. She went out in a boat. And everyone's like, well, she might turn.
[00:32:42] Speaker A: No, no, she. A shark ate her for sure.
[00:32:46] Speaker B: And, I mean, the dad. The dad is a little bit morose, but it's. Yeah, yeah.
[00:32:52] Speaker A: The ball going on.
[00:32:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:54] Speaker A: Sadie's still bossing people around, and they're like, oh, girl, you're here. Go get dressed. Like, it's just. Again, talk about stakes. All right.
[00:33:03] Speaker A: Oh, here we go. She comes home.
He's the. She finally sees her father. She tells her father that she has to be herself. Which is like a theme for these. All of these.
And all of a sudden, we hear.
[00:33:19] Speaker B: Well, here comes Grafton.
[00:33:20] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:33:21] Speaker B: Okay, the announcement.
[00:33:21] Speaker A: We hear the announcement.
May I present Mr. Rex Grafton.
And it's Nick.
[00:33:30] Speaker B: It's Nick.
[00:33:32] Speaker A: We knew this was gonna happen, but.
[00:33:34] Speaker B: I didn't know exactly how. You know, I still can't explain it doesn't make any sense. He's like, well, you took off, Comet. I followed you in the boat. So I was also out there. Near enough the coordinates to be.
[00:33:47] Speaker A: His name.
[00:33:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Just. Just slid right in there and told everybody. Well, I rescued her.
[00:33:54] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:33:54] Speaker B: You know, which tracks with the story that we heard in the future. Well, you ended up marrying somebody who was a sea captain of some sort.
[00:33:59] Speaker A: So.
[00:33:59] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess he's just taken Adam's place in history because nobody knew him.
[00:34:03] Speaker A: That's exactly what it is.
[00:34:04] Speaker B: He wasn't in a family, he was an orphan. So it's just.
[00:34:07] Speaker A: Yeah, sure, it didn't work, but she says you had me at Rex Grafton. She was like that. She went down fast.
[00:34:17] Speaker B: And also she's making a reference to a movie that there's. That not the movie he showed her. The one movie she would have seen.
[00:34:23] Speaker A: Exactly. All right.
And then they kiss. And all is right in 1905. What did you think of a Newport Christmas?
[00:34:31] Speaker B: Well, like I've already said, I enjoyed that. There was something.
I mean, there were real.
[00:34:39] Speaker B: Stakes finally. You know, I mean, we've seen this movie before. It's Back to the Future. Right. And again, I can't really understand any of that because who can? Because it is astrophysics and time travel, which is not as above my.
[00:34:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Multiverses.
[00:34:54] Speaker B: But. Yeah. I mean, I thought it was kind of humorless, but I did enjoy. And I didn't know exactly how they were going to sort this out.
[00:35:02] Speaker A: Right.
[00:35:02] Speaker B: I mean, we know they've fallen in love, but I usually it's just a clear path. There's nothing in the end. And at least this time it was.
There were some trials and tribulations in like the space time continuum to contend with.
[00:35:14] Speaker A: So I will say it held my attention. I enjoyed it. I like the cgi. I like the effects. I like the, you know, the Gilded age.
[00:35:22] Speaker B: Did you think they had chemistry? No. Yeah.
Not at all. And you said he's a hunk. I mean, I'm jumping to that question.
[00:35:30] Speaker A: Okay, well, let's. Let's get there. Um. Would you fuck either of them?
[00:35:35] Speaker B: No.
[00:35:36] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:35:36] Speaker B: No. I had moments with him where I was like, maybe, but no, I wouldn't her.
[00:35:43] Speaker A: Because she sort of looked like. Do you remember that Marlon Wayans movie, White Chicks?
She kind of looked like that.
There was something.
[00:35:51] Speaker B: She was somehow in dress.
[00:35:53] Speaker A: She was Giving white chicks.
[00:35:54] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that was. That's too oat milk latte for me. I couldn't do her.
[00:35:59] Speaker A: Yeah. But him, I was like, okay. Sailor Navigator. His story.
[00:36:05] Speaker B: Which is thick. Yeah.
[00:36:07] Speaker A: I didn't mind him. Yeah. I wasn't, like, crazy, but I didn't mind.
[00:36:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, have a bottle of tequila and. Yeah, but.
[00:36:14] Speaker A: And now, who would you play in a Newport Christmas? Sadie.
[00:36:19] Speaker B: I'm. I'm Sadie, the governess. Yeah. I mean, she did a great job. I don't think she needs to be replaced. But I like. I liked her.
[00:36:26] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:36:26] Speaker B: Bustle and her. And it's small. I wouldn't have to be on set the whole time.
[00:36:30] Speaker A: Could you do an Irish accent?
[00:36:32] Speaker B: I believe I could. I mean, it would.
[00:36:34] Speaker A: Yeah, there you go.
[00:36:36] Speaker B: But I could do it.
[00:36:37] Speaker A: I also want to be back in 1905, but I would play the guy that announced Mr. Rex Grofton.
[00:36:46] Speaker B: Yeah. You've been auditioning for this.
[00:36:48] Speaker A: I would be the announcer. That's the part that I would play. Well, Lauren, thank you. Either in 2025 or 1905. You're a shining star. We learned so much from this one.
[00:37:02] Speaker B: It was a brood awakening for sure.
[00:37:05] Speaker A: I feel smarter.
[00:37:08] Speaker A: All right, everybody. Thank you all. My Hallmark. Ho, ho, ho. We'll be back again. See you soon.
